Culture Cake

I recently introduced my leadership class to Tom Rath’s Strengths Finder 2.0 (2007). We were talking about their various strengths and how we need to work together with the other people’s strengths in order to make up for our shortcomings. This discussion led into one about culture and how it would be great if we were able to work more closely together. We live in Auckland, which is a very diverse city. The majority of my students come from India and they have been adjusting to the Kiwi culture and learning more about it through the classroom and through their work experiences. My students lamented that there wasn’t more opportunity to ‘mix’ with those from other cultures. One of the barriers they saw was the fact that many cultural groups just stick to themselves. They acknowledged that this wasn’t always the case, but it was common enough for the class to as a whole to nod their heads in agreement regarding their similar experiences in this matter.

Thinking that this would be a good teachable moment, I shared with the class one of my strengths – connectedness. According to Strengths Finder 2.0, those with the connectedness strength are “certain of the unity of humankind” and act as a “bridge builder for people of different cultures” (Rath, 2007, p. 73). In our classroom discussions, we’ve covered how culture is learned through our upbringings and experiences. These experiences make us unique. But at the heart of it all we are all human beings. We all need air, water, food, security, and connection among other things in life. Our cultures and traditions are layered on top of these things and often become the values by which we are identified. So we get lost and consumed by our cultural identity and the ‘rightness’ of the culture to which we belong. In the process, we lose sight of the fact that we are first and foremost human beings.

We must value life at the most basic level. In the process, we must learn to deal with our disagreements regarding the ‘learned’ values of life. If this is our starting point we can, as civilized beings, discuss the things that we are most passionate about without giving way to hatred for the human being behind the passion. Sadly this isn’t usually the case.

So what do we do with this conflict between culture and humanity? I suggested that the students think about a chocolate cake (the flavor of the cake doesn’t matter, it could be vanilla, butterscotch, banana, or whatever suits your fancy). In order to make a cake you need sugar, eggs, flour, baking powder, vanilla, milk and cocoa. There may be some variation to this recipe. Any cake includes various individual ingredients, each with their own properties and characteristics. They all play a part in what will eventually become the final tasty treat. Once we mix all the ingredients in the bowl, the individual ingredients take on a different property. Together they create something that is far better than any one of the ingredients on their own. For me, working with people from diverse backgrounds is like the chocolate cake. If I’m willing to mix and integrate with people who are different than I am, then I’m a lot more likely to be part of creating something much bigger and better than myself. It doesn’t mean that I have to sacrifice my culture any more than sugar has to sacrifice its sweetness as part of the cake recipe. 

Being part of a globalized world means that the diversity in our workplaces and communities will continue to increase. How I as an individual view these other ‘ingredients’ is really up to me. Will I throw part of myself in the bowl with those that are different than I am so that we can create a better world for our children and grandchildren? Or will I keep to myself and those like me? The choice is mine.

Works Cited

Rath, T. (2007). Strengths Finder 2.0. New York, NY, USA: Gallup.

Risking Trust

I was reminded this week that trust can't be established without risk. On the surface, trust and risk seem diametrically opposed. Surely our understanding of trust is rooted in the safety and security. If we were brutally honest with ourselves, however, we would acknowledge that real trust can't be established without taking risks. I've been doing a lot of thinking about building community and culture where trust is a core component. Working in an environment where your colleagues are comfortable sharing their vulnerabilities, weaknesses, strengths, and passions, in a non-threatening way would be a nice change of pace. I'm not talking here about a bunch of whining, moaning, sad sacks. I'm talking about the recognition of the fact that none of us has it all together. With the amount of posturing and positioning that goes on in some work places, it's no wonder that we hang out for the weekend.

We learn early on not to trust others. As children we take trust for granted. We say we will do something but don't. We play practical jokes that turn out not to be so funny. In a hundred big and small ways we eventually become leery of each other. We start doubting that we can take others at their word. We enter into incomprehensible contracts because we don't trust that that the other person will do what they say. Pretty soon trust means safety and security, protection from all the difficulties of life. We don't trust people who can't give this to us. We go to work, spend time with family and friends, all with a buried suspicion of those around us. We learn to cope with varying degrees of trust, and we become unsure of what trust really looks like.

I have found myself in many situations like this recently. I think that because of my circumstances the notion of trust has been at the forefront of my mind. How do we bring ourselves to take the risk and trust when there is a pile of evidence telling you that you shouldn't? How do you decide to trust when there's no guarantee that the person you are putting your trust in will be there for you? What compels us to put our trust in something knowing full well that it's very likely that we're going to be disappointed by the outcome? What I've come to realise this week is that I can't know every outcome. I can take every step to mitigate every risk, but if I'm wanting to experience true trust, and by extension, true relationship and community, then I need to know that I'm going to be disappointed. I'm going to be let down by those I love. I'm going to be overlooked by those for which I work. But not always! There are moments in life when our trust in others is well placed. When our attempts to be open and honest with others is respected and honoured. The glimpse of community and relationship in these moments surpasses all the disappointments. It provides hope that we can live and work together in ways that honour the individual and celebrates what we represent as a community.

As America celebrates another birthday, I watch from afar and celebrate it in my own way. Over the past eight years America has let the world down. It has not given the world any reason to trust it. It has bullied friends and bashed enemies. The financial instruments set up by banks and investment firms have swindled away the future of others, leaving them wondering where they will turn. We are in danger of finding ourselves, individually and collectively, standing on the fringes wondering who we might be able to trust in the future. Surrounded by uncertainty we may be figuring that it's all too hard. America needs to acknowledge it's own vulnerabilities and weaknesses. But as we celebrate Independence Day, we should also value our strengths and passions. But these both must be balanced so that we can begin taking the steps to rebuilding trust in the global community. "Why should we take the first step?" we might ask ourselves. Well, because somebody has too. The world is hesitant to take us at our word. We must regain trust. We must risk being vulnerable. We will never experience true community if we are not willing to experience hurt and disappointment. What we do with that hurt and disappointment will make the difference. You never know, sometimes someone will surprise you when you take that risk. You may just find yourself for a moment in a relationship or community that you always hoped to be a part of but thought couldn't exist because there was not trust.